Spock must die

Freebies for Cat Lovers

We all know cat people are quirky...but did you they are all cheap? It's true. Cat lovers are in servitude to their feline masters, and many of them toil to no end inside of call centers, coffee shops,   bookstores,  and other various entry level positions in futile attempt to appease Mr. Sprinkles, the free rescue calico they brought home a little over three years ago.
Cat slaves go through life in a constant fear of reproach from the ever shedding mate repelling demon who insists on spending 94 percent of its life under the couch or behind the computer desk. After rent, microwave dinners, and lavender sweatpants,  there is little left for poor Sprinks. Lord knows the little shitmonster can't be subjected to off brand crunchy food which is fine enough for the rest of its kind. God forbid "mommas whittle cuddleball" use anything but the finest odor obliterating kitty litter which comes in a new eco friendly container which justifies it's ridiculous pricetag.
Hence this book, written by a terrible person who probably self published this in an attempt gain impasse into the world of elite cat fanciers. I didn't open it because I assumed it was full of self addressed stamped envelope schemes in an attempt to get a trial size of some new form of meow mix,  or "newly formulated" cat piss stain remover....

Now if you excuse me, I'm off to work...my manager at Borders can be a real prick if I'm late, and Sprinks hates it when I don't stick to our routine.....The widdle wascal wuvs his awone  time....

Share the new life (with a Jew)

This lil book prepares the average goy (shikse or shegatz) for a newfound life with a Yid. I don't mean to kvetsh, but you would have to be mushugine to waste your shekels on some kockeymeme gentiles fakakte khazeray. Save your mezumeh! 

Bo Jo Jones

Best title ever.

Like, its an ice cream diet.

The ice cream diet would probably work for me....because my body treats lactose like the Israeli government treats Palestine....! If I consume anything culled from another mammals teet I get shut down like a Chinese restaurant after the health department swings by.... I'd probably never eat again for fear of cherry Garcia going through me like a delorian on its way to save a clock tower....like totally.

Am I going to heaven?

Nope

Bush Warfare

They call him...the MERCENARY!!!!

I call him......Generic Burt Reynolds with an eyepatch